146/93?! But I'm a YOGA TEACHER!?

Jai Bhagwan!

Yesterday was the annual health and wellness event at CSI.  I spent a fair amount of time there to pay for my habits—habits like eating, sleeping under a roof and other silly things like that.  I tend to have “white coat hypertension” which means that when it's a doctor or other medical proffesional taking my blood pressure, it runs high.  In the past that has always meant that I would show as being in the middle ground between normal and high blood pressure.  The workers asked about my mala and I would very enthusiatically tell them about teaching, hand them a business card and move on to the next station.  This was the best “fair” yet, my weight is firmly in the healthy range at 167 lbs, my total cholesterol is lovely at 129, blood sugar a perfect 80 and then the blood pressure:  146/93, 140/90 is the bottom line for high blood pressure.

I assured the lovely lady working the blood pressure station that it was merely situational and that I would check it over the next week at every grocery store and gas station that had an arm cuff station.  She smiled, patted the portable cuff she was using and said, “Walmart sells these for about $40, you should get one and check your pressure every day.  Here's a nice booklet for you to track your pressure each day.”  My wife had a cuff ready for my use the moment I returned home last night.  113/71

I didn't know what to think.  I'm a YOGA TEACHER.  Stress is not my enemy, it is merely a gnat to be dismissed as I contemplate the meaning of the cosmos and the reason for navel lint.  At first I was mortified that I had become so wrapped up in the moment that I had shot my blood pressure through the roof and done so in front of so many people.  Then I was disgusted that I had become mortified.  Then I laughed.

Namasté

This blog/journal contains my thoughts and views on Yoga both on and off the mat.  My daily sadhana journal is located at Everyday Yoga.

Sole Searching

Jai Bhagwan!

When was the last time that you focused solely upon your sole?  Some people may consider sole searching a purely sabbatical pursuit and so never do any sole searching at all.  It is time to reconnect and do a bit of sole searching!

Have you ever had a yoga instructor tell you to place your feet hip width apart?  Many times when I say, “Step your feet hip width apart,” I see feet shoulder width apart.  Does it matter?  Try this little experiment and then you decide if it matters:  Sit at a table and extend your right arm straight out, palm down, along the surface of the table.  Now move your hand, keeping the arm straight, 12 inches or so to the right and press the palm of the hand firmly into the table top.  Focus on the elbow, what is happening there?  Now move your hand back to the original position (arm extended straight out in front of you) and repeat.  How does the elbow feel in this position?  Does it feel stronger and more secure?

Body alignment plays two vital roles:  First, proper alignment provides stability and safety in each pose.  Second, proper alignment allows for strong energetic movement between those points of the body pressed into the mat and those points extending out of those press points.  In anuvittasana, proper alignment protects the low back from injury and the movement of energy from the feet up through strong legs and spine encourages upward movement rather than falling back toward the floor.

Coming back to our feet, does hip width matter?  Yes.  OK, then what does hip width mean?  Ankles and feet are directly beneath the hip joint which is about 2 inches in from the outside of the leg.  You can poke around and figure out where your hip joints are but there is a much easier and more mindful way of stepping the feet hip width apart:  Listen to your feet.  Step your feet far, really far, apart; where is the weight?  Outside of the foot?  Inside of the foot?  Now step your feet 1/2 inch apart and where is the weight?  When your feet are wider than hip width, the weight is on the inside of the foot from the big toe to the heel.  When narrower than hip width, the weight shifts to the outside of the feet (generally speaking).  When the feet are hip width apart, the weight settles over the midline of the feet and feels evenly distributed from side to side.  The more you listen to your feet about where they are, the more detail you will feel from them; so, the next time your teacher says, “Feet hip width,” do a bit of sole searching to bring your feet into alignment.

Namasté

This blog/journal contains my thoughts and views on Yoga both on and off the mat.  My daily sadhana journal is located at Everyday Yoga.

Are You Afraid?

Jai Bhagwan!

When I first began this foray, there were a few things of which I was absolutely sure.  One of those things was knowing that I would never give up eating meat.  Even as I returned from Florida in June, I was still firm in my carnivorous appetite.  Sure, eating a burger at my parents was an uncomfortable experience for a few days afterward but I loved the taste.  I still love the taste, the flavor of meat is fabulous.  What is not fabulous is how I feel afterward.

During the spring training, Eric focused one session on stillness.  Looking back, he was asking us to study ourselves to determine what leads us to greater stillness and what draws us away from it.  Some examples he used were horror movies and steaks.  There are people who love horror movies; the more horrible, the better they would say.  Others of us do not like films with storm clouds in them let alone actual horror.  The first group might find horror movies stilling and the second would likely not find them stilling . . . unnerving with a touch of I–can't–go–down–to–the–basement–lest–something–eat–me anxiety, yes but definitely not stilling.  For others eating a steak, medium rare with nothing but a knife and fork as garnish or juicy roast beef with a lovely horseradish sauce, might be the peak of enjoyment and tranquility and for others it might torment their souls for days to come.  He then said something which is still intriguing to me, we need to each be detectives and learn what is and what is not stilling to us.  I have determined that deciding to write this entry—which I had intended to write on Tuesday—was very unstilling but that leaving it unwritten has been even more disturbing than writing it and being done with it.

While in Atlanta on my rain-delayed trip home from Florida last month, I decided that the bowl of oatmeal I ate for breakfast fourteen hours earlier was no longer sufficient and so I ate a gyro.  I adore gyros, even mediocre gyros are heavenly.  This particular gyro, of the airport at 10PM variety, was not entirely mediocre nor was it anything to brag about.  I enjoyed its savory flavor and, as I washed the last tidbit down and stood to walk back to my assigned gate, I suddenly wished I had refrained from eating.  I had been betrayed!  What was a very acceptable gyro had turned into a heated stone the size of a softball.  For the next three days that softball slowly worked its torturous will upon me.  I comforted myself with the knowledge that something similar happened last time but that in short order I was back to my happy carnivore of a self—I am named after a DINOSAUR; so, of course I am a carnivore!  This same basic scene has repeated itself with my wife's fantastic penne and sausage dish, black bean soup (with generous amounts of chicken) and homemade chili (my grandmother's marvelous recipe).  Based on these experiences, I see no good reason to keep trying to eat meat.

So, why the title?  I have been dreading this entry for two days now.  The flavors of a good steak or chicken cordon bleu or rindsrouladen still make my mouth water even writing them and if the thought of living with them after the meal is finished were not such a very unpleasant thought, I can not see myself voluntarily giving up these foods I love.  Writing this entry is acknowledging that I simply cannot continue eating—living—as I have until now.

Namasté

This blog/journal contains my thoughts and views on Yoga both on and off the mat.  My daily sadhana journal is located at Everyday Yoga.

Mind Numbing ≠ Stillness

Jai Bhagwan!

As I mentioned at Everyday Yoga, the lapse in entries is due to my allowing time to be devoured by a rather trivial and mind-numbing pursuit.  While it was nothing pernicious by nature—for the truly curious, it was a video game my wife bought for the kids—it was absolutely vile as far as effect.  Such things have a very mind numbing effect upon me, they are an easy addiction and I know it.  This was part of the reason that instead of giving it to our daughter for her birthday, it came more than a month after the fact—I really did not want another game in the house.  I have forgone meals to keep playing “my game” in the past.  Who needs mind-numbing drugs when it's so easy to just pop in a favor game, live another life and let the hours and days of the real world slip by unnoticed?  Frequently, it can take months for me to recognize what is happening and to break out of the cycle of playing a game every chance I get.  This time it took less than two weeks.  I'll write about the difference this time around in a moment.

Yoga does allow one to develop a state of mindless awareness but there is a very critical difference:  Awareness and conscious action.  Allowing the mind to become numb is unconscious and haphazard.  Withdrawing the senses or focusing on a single point to the exclusion of all else or focusing on nothing and being aware of everything all require conscious action.  Slipping into a mind-numbed daze requires simply allowing something to mesmerize the mind and so replace one set of illusions with another.  Consciously changing the state of the mind leaves the intellect and consciousness very much alive, awake and aware.

The reason it was easier to kick this bout of mindless pablum is, of course, a consistent and dedicated practice and a fierce determination to be aware of what was happening.  It was relatively easy to see that playing did not bring stillness nor satisfaction nor contentment nor anything very beneficial at all.  Even being able to recognize this, nearly two weeks became unproductive fodder to my game playing habits.  So, what to do now?  Accept what is, learn from it and level up!

Namasté

This blog/journal contains my thoughts and views on Yoga both on and off the mat.  My daily sadhana journal is located at Everyday Yoga.

Powerful Prana

Jai Bhagwan!

Tonight I was reminded of why I love teaching.  A couple of students expressed that they had been dealing with a great deal of stress.  At the end of class, some of those same students lingered after class to share that the focus of the night, pranayama, had really helped melt away those stresses that had been troubling them.  Seeing the soft, easy look on those faces was exactly what I needed to see tonight.

Namasté

This blog/journal contains my thoughts and views on Yoga both on and off the mat.  My daily sadhana journal is located at Everyday Yoga.

In the Fast Lane

Jai Bhagwan!

If you read yesterday's post about my little run in with a new video game, then you will know why that email you are waiting on from me still has not arrived.  I am madly typing a blurb for a family newsletter and responding to about thirty emails and two transcription assignments.  Your email is in here somewhere, I will find it and I will respond, soon.

Namasté

This blog/journal contains my thoughts and views on Yoga both on and off the mat.  My daily sadhana journal is located at Everyday Yoga.

Mirror, Mirror, Everywhere

Jai Bhagwan!

Most of us have heard the old saw that it's not polite to point.  Some point out that while pointing at someone with one finger, there are four fingers pointing back at us.  Another wise saying is, “The problem with being a liar is not that no one believes you but that you cannot believe anyone.”  Here is an interesting experiment for you to try:  The next time you berate someone, even if only in your mind, ask yourself if you are actually describing something about yourself.  Like the liar, we see ourselves everywhere we look.  If everyone seems overly critical, perhaps we are the ones who are overly critical.

A word of caution, do not try this little experiement if you don't want to see your actions for what they really are.  Also, do not forget that even if your actions are unflattering and borish, the real you is simply waiting for that realization so you will shovel the crap out of the way and let your true beauty shine.

Namasté

This blog/journal contains my thoughts and views on Yoga both on and off the mat.  My daily sadhana journal is located at Everyday Yoga.

Mirror, Mirror, Part II

Jai Bhagwan!

Last week, I wrote about seeing oneself in the reactions one has to others.  Melanie commented that she was unsure what I meant and said, “This makes me feel as though each time I am sad that someone is so angry all the time that I myself might be the angry one.”  Clearly, what I wrote did and did not convey the experience.

Reactions to the actions of others usually do tell us quite a bit about ourselves and how we relate to the world around us.  Emotion shows how we view the world:  Compassion, anger, suspicion and so forth.  The example above may mean one views others with compassion.  What emotion rises most often through your day?  Is it helpful or unhelpful?  Seeing oneself this way is useful but not extremely insightful, most are already used to thinking, “I am angry” or “I am happy.”

Things become a bit different when looking at the labels we place on others or on their actions.  When someone cuts me off in traffic, what is my reaction?  Is he a jerk who has no regard for anyone but himself or is he a father whose child is in emergency surgery?  Looking at my own reaction begins to reveal something about my view on life.  How is that view coloring what I see?

Lastly, there is the blame we place on others, “That person annoys me,” or “Stop talking to the cashier, you're wasting my time!”  These are often some of the hardest realities to face.  Is the first person actively doing something to specficially annoy me or am I simply allowing myself to be annoyed/controlled by the situation?  The same question applies even if the person is actively trying to annoy me.  Is it really so critical that I breeze through the check-out line or am I simply being impatient?

As we study ourselves in this way, it becomes easier and easier to recognize the times when we are artificially coloring the situation and when we are actually seeing things as they really are.

Namasté

This blog/journal contains my thoughts and views on Yoga both on and off the mat.  My daily sadhana journal is located at Everyday Yoga.